Eating Alone in Restaurants: A Solo Traveler’s How-To Guide
Ahhh, solo dining. The bane of a solo traveler’s existence…
Sure, solo travel and digital nomad life seem great….but…what about eating alone? Not at a coffee shop or counter service place–actually going into a nice restaurant and having a full meal by yourself. Won’t everyone stare at you? Won’t you have to get takeout for the rest of your life?
Nope! Eating alone is actually enjoyable once you let go of the fear and realize no one gives a shit. Here are some tips for not only getting through a meal at a restaurant alone, but enjoying it!
Remember – no one cares as much as you do
This is a crucial fact – no one is going to be paying attention to you. Most people will be with a group or at least with one other person. They’ll be paying attention to each other, not you.
If anyone does notice, take the opportunity to make a new friend (if you want to)
One of my favorite travel stories–I was sitting in a restaurant in Silverton, Colorado during the off-season. So it was just me and a few people at tables. These two Canadian older gentlemen noticed I was alone and invited me to sit with them.
I learned that they were ghost hunters staying in the most haunted hotel room in Silverton and had already seen some activity. Like me, they were frequent travelers, and they gave me advice for New Mexico, my next destination.
We didn’t exchange contact information. We didn’t connect on social media. I never saw them again, but we had a lovely conversation, and I hope they got more of the ghost activity they wanted!
Sit at the bar
You may feel less awkward at the bar, and you can make small talk with the bartender if you choose. When I’m alone, I usually prefer to sit at the bar.
Bring a book
That way you’ll have something to keep you occupied while you wait for your food and you’ll feel a little less awkward. Bonus tip: a book can also double as a placeholder. If you need to leave your seat, this lets everyone know it’s taken!
When I bring a book with me, 9 times out of 10 someone walking by asks me what I’m reading. This can be a good conversation starter if you’re looking to meet new people.
Work if you must
We digital nomads must work even while traveling, so you may want to take the opportunity to get some work done while you wait for your food. If you’re busy and it helps you feel less out of place, go for it!
try it out in a “solo city”
Some places just naturally attract more solo people. For example, NYC is very much a “solo city.” It’s common for folks to dine alone.
That small town, though? It might not go over so well if you’re nervous and just want to blend in.
Don’t get me wrong–I’ve had great experiences dining alone in small towns. But I definitely had to be “on” and make conversation. I’m not the biggest fan of small talk as an introvert, so I have to be in a certain mood to dine solo in a small town. I’ve met bar owners and learned their life stories when all I wanted was a glass of wine. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but hey, all part of the travel experience.
A fancy three-course solo meal at Commander’s Palace in New Orleans. Not pictured: the delicious turtle soup!
Try it out in a friendly city
You’ll be treated well just about anywhere you go in New Orleans, for example. If you get a good vibe about the people in that particular city, don’t sweat it.
Cop an attitude
I call it the “fuck it’ philosophy. Who cares? Put that dress on (or don’t). Do your hair and makeup (or don’t). Show up however you want and make no apologies.
Yours truly on a solo date
Think of it as taking yourself on a date
You’re spending quality time alone and treating yourself. You’re not really going to let what people think ruin that, are you? Plus remember Point #1 – no one cares anyway! Also, dating as a digital nomad can be rough, but dating yourself is a great form of self-care!
Tips for your first solo dining experience
Do your research. Does the restaurant have a bar? Do you need a reservation? Is there a dress code? You’ll want to know these things ahead of time so you’re prepared.
Try it out on a weeknight. If you’re intimidated by solo dining, go when it’s less likely to be crowded. If you’re at all apprehensive, you probably don’t want to be in a busy restaurant on a Saturday night.
Go early or late. Go during an off-peak time–just not right before close!
Try it during happy hour. You can sit at the bar if you’d like and have a bite!
Things to remember
You’ll feel awkward at first. This is to be expected, and a fear of eating alone is normal. Even if you’re a confident person, you may feel a little out of place at first. It gets better with time.
You can leave at any time. The beauty of digital nomad life – you call all the shots. If you get a bad vibe, you can GTFO anytime.
Safety first. As always, be wary of telling people you’re a solo traveler or digital nomad. If you talk to anyone, you can say your friends are joining in later if you’d like.
What are the best restaurants for solo dining?
Any place with a bar. That way you’ll have the option of table service or sitting at the bar–choose whichever one feels right for you.
A place that’s close to your temporary home or hotel. If you choose a place you can safely and easily walk to/from, you take out the rigamarole of overplanning/getting an Uber/figuring out parking/overthinking. If you can simply walk to the place, it will feel like just another solo adventure!
Anywhere you want! Seriously. There are no rules for solo dining – just go and enjoy!
The Comments
Josy A
Great advice! I find it a bit easier to eat solo in Japan as they have so many places designed for solo diners. I love your cop an attitude advice in particular – that is the best way!